Last Friday (the 14th) I went out with Nicole and her friend Yolanda. We went shopping (I got fashion advice, since I’m a programmer, and have no fashion sense), then ate, then went dancing.
WARNING: Tall, uncoordinated white male dancing can be hazardous to your sense of style.
It really was a good time though. Spent too much on clothes, and got some stuff I never thought I’d wear (let alone like) in the pants department. Baggier stuff that I usually don’t like. But you know what? Damn are they comfortable. Got a couple shirts. Got a pair of shoes too. Then we went to American Bandstand for dinner. You know, the chain owned by the immortal Dick Clark?
That dude (Dick Clark) must have done some sort of Faustian deal or something, because he hasn’t aged since the late 60’s. What’s more, when we get to our table, there is a pack of American Bandstand Trading Cards!!!! Date: 1993 (I think, or ‘95, or something like that). There were packs of these cards on the table the last time I went to that place, over a year ago. They can’t give those things away.
They do have a kick-ass dessert called the Chocolate Orgy or something like that. Lame jokes were attempted by myself. Shouldn’t have tried. Actually, I attempted many lame jokes that night. I need to learn to keep my lame humor in check, and think before I say a bad pun. LOL
Then we decided to go downtown. By way of the south side of Indianapolis (American Bandstand is on the north side of town). It was a shortcut. LOL I was following Nicole, and she went out to 465 (the big interstate loop around Indy) I was like “huh?” Then we kept going to I-60-whatever is on the south east side. Traffic jam!!! For some reason the cops were routing all of the 465-West traffic on the south side to I-60-whatever. Yeah!!! It took us an hour and a bit to get into downtown Indy. Then there was the point where Nicole went the wrong way down a one way street. LOL Ended up spending 10 or 15 minutes on cell phones trying to figure out where each other were and find parking. It was quite an adventure. If that was a shortcut though, I’d hate to see the long way.
(Nicole, I was just kidding around here – it was fun driving and certainly an experience 
We ended up going to the clubs at the top of the Circle Center Mall. There’s four of ‘em up there. I’ll pass on recounting alot of it except to say that I actually danced. Not slow-dance-your-high-school-semi-formal-dance but fast-shake-your-body-like-an-epileptic-monkey-dance. Yes, I said epileptic monkey.
I need to be way more drunk to do that. I couldn’t drink too much because I was driving. It took a hell of alot of courage for me to dance, but I didn’t quite have enough courage to go up to strange women and start rubbing my crotch on them (like most of the guys do at that place). Maybe it’s just me, but that just seems like the trademark of the asshole. I guess that’s normal for places like that though. There was this little brunette that I wanted to dance with, and a redhead, but I couldn’t do it. I admit, I’m definitely disappointed that I didn’t loosen up as much as I wanted.
And I’m disappointed we didn’t have time to change before we went dancing. Yolanda was going to wear ’slutting boots’ (In Nicole’s terms). I love those kinda boots on a woman….
Anyway, afterwards, we all went our separate ways. I was walking towards the parking garage where my car was, kinda bummed I didn’t let go like I wanted, and was stopped by a homeless guy asking for a buck. Well, maybe he wasn’t homeless, but he was definitely pretty hard up and out of work. I usually don’t do anything except walk on by, but I didn’t this time. I gave him a dollar, and you know what? It felt pretty damned good. He was happy. We talked for a second. He thanked me, and was genuinely happy. I told him good luck, and this is the part that got me. He said “You’ve already given me good luck”.
It was at that point that I was like, how can I feel upset about how much I let go and had fun? How can I even get so depressed that I don’t want to do anything after that? I’ve got it easy. I’ve got it made. Of course, I still will get down. I am still bummed that I didn’t loosen up, giving a buck to that guy won’t change that. But it does put a new perspective on things. It’s not like it’s the most important thing in the world. It’s not like my life is over because I don’t go out on weekends, or when I do, I don’t let go like I would like to. The look of genuine happiness of a simple gesture on that man’s face made me realize something that I should have realized awhile ago – it isn’t that bad. Now I just hope I can remember this lesson and actually live by it, instead of wishing I could live by it.
[editor's note: from 11/30/1999 until 04/27/2000, my site was "Slumbering Angry", my very first blog. I found these files on an old CD I burnt back in 2000 and thought I would include them on this site for historical purposes. I was one moody bastard back then.]
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