X-Tra Rant Taking Myself Way Too Seriously Since 1999

16Nov/074

Dear NBC,

Dear NBC,

I would really like to start watching your show Life but I've missed all the episodes so far and apparently you only go back to the fourth episode on NBC.com. It seems you really don't want people to be able to watch your shows online in any sort of useful way. Guess I won't be watching Life after all.

Oh, and pay your writers, jackasses. I don't want to get stuck watching crappy reality TV just because you want to screw over the people that actually create the content that you then turn around and sue people for putting on sites like YouTube because they like it so much.

Filed under: TV 4 Comments
31Jul/075

Survivorman is back!

Awesome! My favorite reality show that is ACTUALLY reality and about REAL surviving is coming back. Survivorman, with Les Stroud. Season 2 starts August 10th. Sweeeet.

Filed under: Aside Links, TV 5 Comments
2Jun/071

Terrrrrrible Movie

Anyone who knows me knows I love the bad movies on Sci-Fi, especially bad disaster movies and monster/animal movies. But the one I saw tonight really took the cake. Meltdown: Days of Destruction has to be the single worst movie I have ever seen. Even worse than Bats. Even worse than 10.5 and its sequel 10.5 Apocalypse.

Not even the steely gaze of Casper Van Dien could save this movie. Heh. it certainly wasn't as 'good' as my all-time favorite Sci-Fi bad movie Dracula 3000, ironically ALSO starring Casper Van Dien. I think I have issues.

Update: Oooohhhh this Saturday is Ice Spiders on Sci-Fi. Sure to be a classic. Vanessa Williams is in it? Oh wow. This is truly going to be worth watching and mocking.

Synopsis:
A young ski team’s plans to train for the Olympics at a remote ski resort are halted when a scientist working at a nearby government lab arrives with an emergency: giant spiders bred at the lab have escaped, and they’re killing and eating everything in sight. The group must use whatever means necessary to save the survivors and stop the arachnid threat.

Wish the trailer link was working.

Update 2: Check out this excellent blog entry at Cinematical. A complete list of "Sci-Fi Original" movies. How the hell did I miss S.S. Doomtrooper. I've seen somewhere between 15 and 20 of those, including my cheese-fest favorites Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave to the Grave and Boa vs. Python

Filed under: Movies, TV 1 Comment
1Jun/074

LoLst is here

You were warned. It is now too late. LoLst.net is here.
lolst.jpg

Filed under: Memes, Movies, TV 4 Comments
1Jun/070

LoLst is coming

Hide the children. LoLst is coming. It will change your world.

Filed under: Aside Links, Memes, TV No Comments
31May/070

Damn you internets. Damn you to hell.

I really hate the internets right now. They are making me do things no sane person should do.

lolheroes

Someone please stop me.

Filed under: Memes, TV No Comments
31May/070

Lolst

Fuck, I'm sorry. I just can't help it. An idea gets in my head and just burns there until I let it out.

lolst polar bear!

lolst hobbit

I am so sorry.

Of course if you have any of your own or ideas, feel free to comment.

Filed under: Memes, TV No Comments
23May/071

Dear NBC

Dear NBC/WTHR Channel 13,
Please fix the damn sound levels on your HD broadcasts. I'm tired of having to turn my sound way up during shows and then the commercials blasting my eardrums. This has been especially bad during the 50 incarnations of Law & Order.

Filed under: TV 1 Comment
10May/070

Neglicting

so I've totally been neglecting the blog. too much work to do lately. So what have I been up to?

  • Lots of work. Lots. Blah. code haunting my dreams.
  • Playing too much Gears of War multiplayer on my 360 with some friends from work. Good times.
  • Made the switch from satellite TV and AT&T DSL and phone to everything being proided by cable. HD TV service now, voice over IP and cable internet. So far so good. More thoughts on all that process actually....

So yeah, the cable switch. Lots of thoughts on all that and plus why I left DirecTV and AT&T

  • AT&T: So they took care of the switch pretty nicely and I was already out of my DSL contract so that went smooth. But they went and shut off my DSL a day early. I had left Drinking Liberally early last week to do some coding from home only to find out my DSL was shut off before it should have been. I was PISSED. Had to take my laptop outside and wander around my apartment complex looking for an unsecured wireless connection to send in my status report at work. I was not amused.
  • DirecTV: Well, DirecTV can just go fuck themselves. First, if I wanted to get HDTV service with them and a DVR (I need a DVR. I am too hooked on it to ever give it up) I would have needed to pay $300 and not even own the damn box. That alone is pretty rediculous. (to won it would have cost $700!!!!) But when I'm told it's so much because it's the best DVR out there when it is clearly not (The Tivo Series III is by far the best out there).... Not only that, I was hung up on twice by the customer "service" when trying to cancel my account and had two other people who had no clue how to help me. I was not impressed and glad that I chose to go to cable to get HDTV at a decent rate.
  • Comcast: I'm doing the "three play" or whatever deal where I am getting cable, internet and phone service. So far it's went really well. I'm paying a bit more than I was before for all three services but I've added HD programming as well as HBO so it evens out pretty well. My only complaint was that the installer was supposed to be there between 10am and 2pm but didn't show up until closer to 3:30pm. ANd without the correct DVR cable box. But he was cool about it and called a supervisor to bring the correct box so that was alright and Comcast knocked off $25 from my install because they were late. I wanted them to waive the install fee but $25 is better than nothing.

So far I'm really happy with the service. And HD is the only way to watch hockey. Day-ummm. Basketball looks pretty damn good in HD as well.

Filed under: Tech & Dork, TV No Comments
27Apr/071

It’s Not Red Dawn: The Series

Yet another entry in a long line of conservative paranoia and application of their own.. particular... world view to popular culture. CJ has been particularly interested in this topic.

But this one, oh boy does it take the cake. Jericho is a show that I've been really digging. I've always been a fan of post apocalyptic style stories, especially about survival and how a society changes after an event like that. But apparently to some people, the commies have taken over Jericho.

I was turned onto CBS’s new series Jericho by a friend who really liked the premise and said I should check it out.
...
That’s back when this was a show about the struggle for survival in post-nuclear America. Real middle-Americans the people who pull themselves up by their bootstraps every day and make this country work. When the rest of the country is gone, they keep doing it.
...
The people of Jericho didn’t wait for FEMA, they worked harder, despite a lack of electricity, an external food supply and any other lack of modern conveniences. They came together, showed that American spirit, ingenuity and resolve to survive.

Basically, real Americans doing real American work.

Ahhhhh the good old "real Americans" meme. See, only "real Americans" keep working under dire curcumstances. The only "real Americans" are those Americans in the middle of the nation - those real American red-staters. Last I checked, an American is an American, even if you live in Massachusetts or California. And last I checked, even those blue state urbanites can pull together in the toughest of times. Try telling a New Yorker "Real middle-Americans the people who pull themselves up by their bootstraps every day and make this country work."

Oh but this is pure sanity compared to what's next....

Then came the winter season break.

Jericho returned in February, but something had changed. Subtly but, like clockwork each episode has featured at least one left-leaning ideal.

First there was the idea that life is better without fossil fuel. One character suggested that windmills would be able to provide electricity for the town. Yes this may seem like splitting hairs when it comes to the plot of the show. Without a gasoline supply to power the town’s generator finding an alternative energy supply. However it was her exact words that when taken out of context of the show repeat those of anti-carbon environmentalists. “If we had working windmills we wouldn’t have rely on diesel at all.” Of course the more anti-energy environmentalist would complain that birds get caught up in windmills; however that’s a tangent we will not follow. More on windmills follows.

The lefties are coming the lefties are coming!! Hide the chilluns! IT'S THE REDDDDDDDS!

I'm really trying to understand how anyone can read into the windmill storying an anti-fossil fuel message. See... they have no gas. They need the windmill to survive, see. The author of this post himself says "when taken out of context." Hell, I could take 75% of popular culture out of context to twist it into any message I want. Just saying, well.. see.. out of context this is an environmentalist's sentence.. therefore LEFTISTS!!!!

It's pretty obvious to me, and anyone not coming into their viewing of popular culture, that in or out of context what is meant is that they won't have to rely on diesel and this is a good thing because THEY DON'T HAVE ANYMORE. The paranoid reading of 'leftist' messages into anything and everything is really somewhat sad. Oh, but it doesn't end there.

A week later when our heroes had ventured to a trading post area they received their first news from the outside world. Among the news items: Mexico had closed its borders and was no longer allowing US Citizens in. On the surface this is a role reversal to show Americans how the policy of protecting their own borders can be unfair. If one looks at the situation deeper they realize that Mexico Immigration laws are such that their borders are virtually closed already. However the real flaw in this story element is that the writers believe that Americans run from adversity. American’s don’t run from danger. They run to, and face it head on. My own great-uncle, upon hearing of the attacks on Pearl Harbor, left the mill he was working in to enlist in the Marines. After 9/11 countless stories could be shared of young men and women who were willing to go to war (an inevitability) at the tender ages of 18, 19 and so forth.

Ahhhh more "real americans" and how the show is "obviously" making a statement about the reversal of the border issue. it really takes a special brand of paranoia to see a bit of text in the background as some sort of heinous leftist message.

But as for the "real flaw" in the story element, this whole idea that Americans don't run from adversity and so there would be no refugee after a nuclear strike on multiple American urban centers. Not only that, this isn't about people "running from Adversity." Think of the issues around multiple nuclear strikes - fallout, radiation, the coming winter and no power, lack of food, etc etc. Not only that - given the way the story is unfolded with massive amounts of unrest between (and even in) towns and outside the affected cities there may not be anyplace to run to.

Ahhhh but it goes on. Back to the windmills and now we get a "lesson" in economics!

When the first working windmill arrives from the next town over an agreement is made that leads to a deal for a number of subsequent windmills. The deal is ten percent of Jericho’s spring crop for ten windmills. The new mayor of Jericho says this is unfair but reluctantly agrees. The first thing you learn in any economics class is that voluntary transactions are mutually beneficial. Since one party wanted windmills and the other party wanted food this seems to work out. We know there are other towns out there, most likely with other resources available to share. This means potentially more mutually beneficial transactions. Here we are being told that if someone is trying to sell you something you’re being screwed. If all purveyors of goods adopted this attitude there would be no more customers.

So apparently ANY trasaction is mutually beneficial, even if a gun is practically being held to your head. Jericho was basically given the choice: give up a share of your crop that could very well mean starvation in the fall or freeze to death. And later episodes where it is shown that New Bern is obviously arming for conflict against Jericho and it makes the mayor's uneasiness at striking a deal with them pretty prescient.

As for the "economics lesson", yes, a voluntary transaction is mutually beneficial. But that's assuming this transaction was really voluntary. when you have no have no choice in the matter (i.e. facing starvation) it's hard to argue the deal was voluntary. And just because they said that 10% was unfair doesn't mean this was some sort of commie leftist message. Although I can see how a person might see that if their whole worldview is one of "the commie leftists hate the market."

Oh but damn, the crazy train keeps rolling.

In what would be the most far-reaching and absurd case of leftist ideology in the series we find that the mastermind of the multiple city nuclear attack is none other than the director of homeland security. While his motivation is still a mystery, this is a fairly unbelievable plot twist. The director of homeland security’s primary mission is to NOT allow terrorist attacks on American soil. But even deeper this is a position created by the Patriot Act, that little piece of legislation that allows law enforcement to protect American citizens from attacks within our country. This has been a bane in the existence of liberals for some time. Any attempt to delegitimize or vilify this law is part of the American left’s attempt to change the minds of voters. Even if it is done through the prism of a moderately-rated fictional TV drama.

Wuhhhuhhhhhhh? And in Spiderman 3 where Peter Parker/Spiderman is shown to be vulnerable to his dark side only enables The Green Goblin. Any attempt to deligitimize or vilify Spiderman is part of the right's attempt to change the mind of comic book readers.

This is seriously one of the most rediculous arguments I have ever read. IT'S A TV SHOW! FICTION! fic tion al char ac ters* This idea that it's some insidious liberal plot to subtly change the minds of voters through a weekly television drama is the height of conservative myopia and paranoia.

It's like the author wanted Red Dawn: The Series and instead got a show that challenges you and maybe makes you think about things in a way that makes you uncomfortable (the hallmark of good drama, by the way). Where's Patrick Swayze and Charlie Sheen when you need them?

jerichodawn.jpg
One of these things is not like the other

*name that movie

Update: Last minute thought. If you really want to read political messages into the show: Which town, New Bern or Jericho, is more like the conservative's answer to tough times and a state of war, and which is more like the liberal's vision? I'll give you a hint - one of them as suspended civil rights, a militarized society, uses torture, imprisons people indefinitely and is willing to engage in preemptive hostilities to take the resources it needs and fight threats it perceives without proof. I'll leave the rest of the answer as an exercise for the reader.

Filed under: Politics & News, TV 1 Comment